"The Gay Clueless Bicycling Brothers" are coming home!

Even before we started this crazy escapade, we were tying to come up with a rad name for our adventure, or bike tour, or bike team, or whatever this thing is that we've been doing. Failing to come up with a good name on our own, Vietnam has seen fit to provide us with one, hence the title of this post. We got to thinking that whatever we call ourselves is ultimately unimportant, because everybody we meet is going to come up with thier own moniker (and it clearly won't involve our names, because I've met about three people on this whole trip who can say "Miles"--not that I can handle their names any better). So with a little imagination, we decided that they probably refer to us somthing along the lines of "The Gay Clueless Bicycling Brothers." Let me break it down...

Gay: So its usually a couple bucks cheaper to get a room witha double bed than two twins, so being brothers and (more importantly) cheapskates, this is what we always do. In Lao and Cambodia, nobody even seemed to take notice, but we've definetly raised eyebrows in Vietnam on multiple occasions. We usually have to be a little insistent on a double bed, and it usually winds up with them giving us a look that says "OK......whatever you want." Also, the spandex bike shorts probably dont help our cause.

Clueless: I could write pages on the silly shit we've done, not to mention all the ways we've probably offended people without even knowing. But in the Delta in Vietnam, for some reason we got the "you're an idiot" look on a fairly regular basis, usually followed by a smile and a laugh. The main contributors to this were our infantile use of chopsticks (we actually had them taken away from us at one restaraunt) and the fact that we speak NO vietnamese. For some reason, people in the Delta had a hard time grasping that one. People of all ages would continue speaking to us in Vietnamese for minutes and minutes, clearly not geting thier point across, but not seeming to comprehend that we couldnt speak any of thier language. It was interesting, and I dont know if they finally got the picture or just wrote us off as idiots.

Bicycling: This is pretty self explanitory, but Ill just add that we often had a really hard time getting the point across (even to folks who spoke english well) that we had bicycled all the way from Lao to wherever we were. I mean, we were obviously on bikes, but people didnt really seem to grasp the possibility of riding that far on a bike (although I couldnt ride most of the old rusty bikes they had there for more than a few miles, either). And when it finally sunk in, they were pretty amazed, but also kinda like: "what in the hell is wrong with you? why in the world would you do that? cant you see this country is full of perfectly good motorbikes that cost less than your bicycles?" (This was also a contributor to the "Clueless" catagory). It was always pretty entertaining to see it dawn on someone that we we actually talking about biking across SE asia, let alone 130 km to the next town.

Brothers: Generally speaking, people here didnt pick us out as brothers or as being related. A couple of times people told us "all falang (white folks) look alike to us" but I think that is simplifying things too much. When we met families here--people's brothers and sisters--I wouldnt have had a clue that they were related just by looking at them at first glance either. What I think is going on is that when you live in SE asia and dont see many white people (or live in the PNW and dont see tons of asian folks all the time), its just not as easy to pick up on the subtleties of body and facial shape that clue us in to folks being related. Which is not really important, except to say that it usually takes them a while to figgure out that we are in fact BROTHERS, which has led to a couple of pretty funny "Ah ha!" moments from folks who work in the hotels we've stayed at in Vietnam. You can really see the light go on in thier heads, when they realize that us sleeping in the same bed is not exactly what they thought it might be.

So there you have it, the trip named itself in the end, as it should. Maybe not as flatteringly as we had imagined, but it was out of our hands. The last few days in Saigon have been pretty sweet, lots of wandering around, a little shopping (they tell me I might need some nice clothes if Im gonna be a lawyer--everythings real cheap here), and a whole lot of eating.

Yesterday, we also checked out the "War Remnants Museum", a muesum deticated to the memory and lingering effects of our war with Vietnam. Unfortunately, most of the artifacts, picures, and stories displayed here came from the American side--I guess I was hoping for a closer look at the North Vietneamese war effort, but maybe they had more pressing things to do than take pictures and document exactly what was going on out in the field. Or maybe they didnt have a free press, or maybe the Vietnamese Communist party (which was clearly very much involved with the presentation and content of this museum) doesnt want those images and stories to a appear alongside thier re-telling of all the low points and attrocities of the American military machine.

The most forcefull part of the museum was an extensive exhibit and photo essay on the effects of dioxins (i.e. Agent Orange) on the environment and human body, especially regarding their ability to cause deformities and birth defects. I realize that war will always bring forth the very worst that humans are capable of and that it is impossible to fight a war without civilian casualties. Im not to judge weather we or the NVA were more vicious (I think that both sides being human, it was probably equal), but it seems we both fought as ruthlessly as we knew how. By luck, our side had the technology (coupled with some willfull ignorance of its lasting effects), and we used chemicals like Agent Orange, and the legacy is truely ghastly. The photographs of Vietnamese children of this current generation born so severely deformed is devastating, and then to walk through the streets of Saigon and see people with identical or similar deformities...I cant even really process it all. Where do we draw the line? Where do we say that no ideal, no amount of oil or other resource is worth this? We must never make war like this again for any reason.

But the point of this post was not to be my usual cynical, negative self regarding American foriegn policy. The point is that this is a wonderful part of the world, full of natural beauty and friendly, generous, and kind people. People who wanted to get to know us, who have pride in thier countries, and are happy that we came to visit and to understand thier lives and cultures. And the point is that this is all the more amazing becuase for a lot of the last half of the century, Lao, Cambodia, and Vietnam were amongst the most violent, horrible places in the world.

Riding through the tranquil and picturesque Cambodian rice fields one day, Evan and I passed an old man. We both judged his age at mid to upper 60's, he was shirtless and you could see every vein and muscle group in his upper body. He was so strong he looked as though he could have ripped the frame of my bike apart with his bare hands. Several hours afterwards, Evan and I realized that the sight of this old man had given us both the same thought: what must he have seen in his life? Being 60 years old in Cambodia would have given you a front seat to 5 or 6 seperate wars, and one of the most evil and horrific periods of humanity the world has ever seen. Its a miricale for someone to live that long in good health, but more of a miricale that he should have a smile and a wave for two wealthy white children vacationing in his homeland.

This experience is the crux of what I find so amazing and inspiring about this part of the world. Despite the devistation and the lasting legacy of these wars (land mines and un-exploded bombs still injure and kill thousands every year in SE asia, not to mention the lasting effects of dioxin poisoning) and the fact that a healthy portion of the responsiblity can be laid at the feet of the USA, people here are happy to meet Americans, they are excited to help themselves and thier countries move forward, even when the past seems reluctant to stay buried. In all my time here, I never felt pysically threatend (except in traffic), never felt scammed or taken advantage of (you always gotta shop around for bus tickets), and scarcely if ever felt resented or un-welcome (even when we lost a game of "is-this-a-house-or-a-restaraunt?"). With evey reason to resent me and my presence here, people in these wonderful countries welcomed me not only as a tourist but in many cases as a friend. The spirit of forgiveness, of making the best of the present and moving forward in friendship, of healing and rebuilding, of learning from past mistakes and being vigilant so as not to repeat them is inspiring. Im sure that people here look back at the past 50 years in anger and sadness (how could they not?), but the feeling in these countries now is forward looking and hopefull. I am greatly impressed by the strength, determination, and the faith in one's self and one's countrymen that this positive outlook must require on a daily basis and in light of the continuing hardships that people in these nations face.

Thanks for tuning in y'all. I'll see you real soon.
Peace, Miles